⚡ BREAKING: Bigfoot sighting reported upstate ⚡ Witnesses describe it as "6 foot 9, friendly, wearing glasses" ⚡ Officials confirm it was just Eli Larkin ⚡ Experts agree: honest mistake ⚡ Bigfoot could not be reached for comment ⚡

1UP ❤❤❤HI-SCORE 999999

ELI LARKIN

THE GAMER HAS ENTERED THE CHAT
AN ABSOLUTE PHENOMENON. ASK ANYONE.

► PRESS START

📸 The Evidence

Eli Larkin trying on an enormous hooded coat in a store — not sure this is legal...

Eli Larkin and Camille on a mountain summit above fall foliage — eli + camille

Eli Larkin in a green beanie in front of ice castles — Ice castle inspector

Eli Larkin reclined in an armchair under purple light holding two bottles — eli against all odds

Eli Larkin in the woods mid-sentence with a hand gesture — Nature enthusiast

Eli Larkin at a wine bar with a friend — Wine connoisseur

Eli Larkin in a black shirt with spiderweb sleeves — mom it's not just a phase

Eli Larkin smiling and holding up Pokemon card packs — big pokemon guy

Eli Larkin smiling with spectacularly untamed hair — crimson chin

Eli Larkin bundled in a hood and beanie with completely fogged glasses — Visibility: zero. Spirits: high.

Eli Larkin with big morning curls in a Mandalorian shirt — this stares at you when you wake up

Eli Larkin flashing a peace sign on a sunlit trail — Peace was always an option

Eli Larkin grinning from the passenger seat in a Nike cap — daddy

🧠 Verified Eli Facts

He is a gamer.
He cannot be trusted with a Nerf sword.
He is 6 ft 9 in.
He teaches people to talk.
Everybody loves underbites, and Eli has one of the best in the game.
His best pal is a goofy vegan.
He is in love with Camille. We don't know what she sees in him.
Long, tan, and handsome. Minus the tan part.